Daily Bread

Every morning in France begins with a fresh baguette from the boulangerie down the street from my apartment. A brisk morning walk, a satisfying crunch, an embarrassed laugh at my flour-covered lips. Morning breakfast has already become a consistent and treasured routine.

I suppose it would be easier to buy a loaf of sliced bread (or, as they call it here in France, American bread). I wouldn’t need to walk down six flights of stairs. I wouldn’t need to fumble through euro coins or think my way through a French conversation. I would also miss out on tasty fresh bread. I’d miss out on a French tradition. I’d miss the smiling woman that sincerely and kindly wishes me a great day.

Some things are better done daily.

This week, I have often felt frustrated with myself. I can’t understand every part of the lectures I sit in. I am too timid to introduce myself to the French students that sit right next to me. I wish I could miraculously be good at everything I feel I fail at now. I would love nothing more than to wake up tomorrow fluent in French, adjusted to the culture, integrated into French society, and thriving. I don’t want to be patient. I don’t want to feel growing pains. I don’t want to trust in God’s faithfulness and His timing.

I see so much of myself in the grumbling Israelites. They think the Lord has left them hungry and alone- and when He miraculously and graciously provides them with manna, they do not listen to what He commands of them. The Israelites gather more manna than they need, and it proves them foolish- the bread rots, and their feeble attempts to save themselves fail (Exodus 16:20). They refuse to trust that God will provide day by day for their every need. How humbling it is to realize that I do the same.

It would be easier to skip these first few weeks of adjustments, frustrations, and challenges- but that would not be sanctifying. God’s mercies are new every morning, ready to be reveled and rested in. I would not learn to rely daily on the Lord’s generosity and faithfulness if I could wake up tomorrow and find everything perfect. Instead, I wake up, come to the Lord, and whisper, “I need You to get through today, and I trust that You alone will be faithful to me. Make me more like You.”

He humbles and changes my heart. How sweet it is to trust Him.